"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile". ~Albert Einstein.
Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13
What does it mean to be a true friend?
Our history, culture, religion, actions, feelings, etc., play large roles in who we are as individuals. Without any of that, we may feel lost or lonely—with an identity, we can feel complete, secure, confident, etc. Identities help us to determine our thoughts, fears, choices, motivations, etc. But even well rounded identities that we create for ourselves don't have to define us; even if most of the time we allow them to.
Identities can help us in connecting with others of similar backgrounds--most of us enjoy the company of others--The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2: 18, 23-24--so it makes perfect sense that we long to connect with others. For one thing, it gives value to our lives. "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy ... it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival". ~C.S. Lewis
For a species that longs for one another, sometimes how we can treat each other is alarming. Our actions and emotions often run away with us. Sometimes these actions get so out of hand, that we allow them to tangle with those we love…How could we allow that to happen? How could it be fair to take out such anger on each other, whether we feel the other deserves it or not? It doesn't seem that anyone should deserve such kind of abuse, and yet we all have been on both ends….Bottomline it's mostly due to the fact that we humans are fallible--we will fall and we will fail at things. We aren't perfect. But of course we can always strive to be better....
I have questions that I ask myself from time to time when I question my motives in a particular instance—for example, are we longing for companionship for all that that word means, or do we long for others in order to eventually further our own selfish desires? If we are going to show the world that we are "good Christians", shouldn't we show it through everything that we do and are?
If we are striving to truly love one another on this earth, should not we do the same in our relationship with God? After all He should be our ultimate best friend. I know He wants to be with us—so are we ready to embrace such an amazing identity? One in God…beautiful…true…Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 12:9-10
Now, don't get me wrong—we will have problems with each other. Sometimes we have reasons, sometimes we don't. Does it have to mean we love those around us any less? No—but sometimes we do hurt them more than we may realize, even if all intentions were pure. If you do have a moment with someone, where you allow your emotions to be taken out on them, and you realize what you have done, don't wait. Talk to the one you may have hurt (even if you don't think they were)—discuss what happened, and share each other's feelings. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:25-27. Allow each other to learn and grow through such situations.
But you know though, because we are all individuals with our own unique identities, we will all act and react differently. Something I say to a friend could be taken the wrong way, even if my intentions are pure. Sometimes it's really hard to strive to be a better individual and friend—for our pasts, presents, and futures are all and will be different somehow, and so we will all be affected differently.
How we express ourselves is unique as well. Being a true friend for example doesn't mean you have a guide book to refer to for every need your friend may have. Everyone is different. Some may choose to study their friend to see what they may need; still others may be there to cheer their friend, while still others could call their friend or write letters of support or good wishes. There are millions of ways to show you care, and still more millions of different/appropriate situations. None should be considered less than someone else's way. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on." Mark 12:42-44
So, how could anyone ever live up to the title of a 'true friend'? It seems almost depressing to think about how much we sometimes are not. Even if you don't mean anything by what you say or do towards someone, does it still make it right that it happened? Does any reason at all justify such hard actions toward others? Regardless, I think it is really important to talk about these things with one another as soon as possible. Don't let things sit or simmer. Don't carry grudges. Just show love whenever you can.
Examine your hearts today—see if you can understand who you are, especially in your relationships with others, and subsequently, they as well. Embrace the beauty of true friendship. Embrace true love. Embrace HIS love.*
But the man who loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:3
But the man who loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:3
Embracing the beautiful,
Whitney
