Most of us have gone through at least one funeral in our lives, whether due to the passing of a family member or that of a friend. No matter how close you may have been with the deceased or the family of the deceased, funerals never seem to be an easy thing to go through. I myself have been to more than I can remember, and it seems apparent now that even experience can't seem to prepare you for loss.
Last week I attended the funeral of a good friend of mine's son. My friend, Suzanne, already has a family, but the passing of this new addition of theirs was still very difficult; especially when you hear the story.
Suzanne was hospitalized a few months after she learned of her pregnancy. A complication had unfortunately arisen with the baby. At 30 weeks, the doctors at the hospital she was taken to delivered her son, Dylan, on November 5, 2010.
He died two days later.
The beautiful thing about Suzanne was that she was my first official friend in my college career. Subsequently I met her family too, and what a beautiful family they are! I thank God for such a blessing as they.
So I was honored to be with Suzanne when she learned of her pregnancy, and to be there when she told her husband. What a special moment for her and here I was, only a recent friend, and the one she chose to be there to hear the exciting news of Dylan-to-be. Suzanne and I discussed how wonderful it would be to one day recount to her child that moment of discovery. But alas, plans we make often do not go the way we want them to…
Losses such as these don't often make sense. Why should one as innocent as he have to die, we ask. Dylan was born without a lung, and while the doctors did everything they could to save him, alas, he could not be. His life was not meant to be lived, but his legacy will never die...
Dylan was just under 2lbs. when he was born, and he was loved from the moment he was conceived. How precious life is.
It was hard to watch my friends go through such a difficult time. Even though I didn't know Dylan personally, his loss was still painfully felt by all who were there at his memorial.
With Thanksgiving fast approaching, you may be wondering how a person could truly be thankful. Losing someone is never an easy thing on its own to bear, and least of all to be able to say thank you to God for. Impossible you might say, but Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26
So,
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Whoa.
Dylan's short life teaches us something, indeed, of how precious and fragile life really is. I am sure we think about death from time to time, but without actually experiencing it head on, we aren't as impacted as we should be. I am not here to depress you, but rather in the hopes of opening your eyes to something beautiful amidst all this darkness. Dylan's life personally hit me as a powerful eye-opener. Here I was, a young college student, with quite a few years already under my belt, living life as I see it, with nary a care in the world. I have no idea what it means to be Dylan. I take my life for granted everyday…Dylan will never truly know what I have lived or learned. His parents will never see him grow into the man they cherished him to be.
If you are thinking of blaming God for such a tragic loss, please think again. God grieves when lives are lost. This is what makes humans so beautiful: our ability to feel. And since we are fashioned in His image, it makes sense that we should also have torrid of emotions. God loves us, and as any father would, longs to see us joyful rather than hurt or sad. Fathers wish to protect their children from all the harm of this world, but no matter how they do try, it still comes. But fathers are there every step of the way, just as God was there with Dylan, with you, and with me. God helps us up when we fall, and rejoices as we grow in all that we experience.
"Where have you laid him?" he asked. "Come and see, Lord," they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!" John 11:34-36
Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. John 13:1a
I know many things in this life of ours don't make sense. Why would Dylan have such a short life? Doesn't seem very fair does it. I can't give you an answer, although I wish that I could. All we seem to be able to do is try to work out as much as we can, and keep going even when it feels like we never could. For, after all, we have a beautiful hope, a hope that God offers us.
Come near to God and He will come near to you. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:8-10
When you are sad, God offers us comfort. So it is alright to grieve for those lost. But do not let it consume you, for look, and see beauty where it is rarely ever seen. As I mentioned earlier, Dylan's life was not meant to be lived. But his legacy can be…
So as you sit down for Thanksgiving dinner with all those lovely trimmings, give thanks for the life you have. Give thanks for every second that you are here. Give thanks that God has given you such blessed opportunities to love Him and to love others. We never know when our time will come, but we should be ready.
Keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour. Matthew 25:13
This is my prayer for my friend and her family during this time, that they can give thanks for having been with Dylan for those two beautiful days. That they also continue to give thanks that Dylan is with God right now where no pain or harm can come to him. Give thanks for the moments we get to spend with one another, for they are truly beautiful.
I hope this story of Dylan's doesn't sadden you during this upcoming holiday. I hope instead that he makes you think about things, especially about your own lives, and that you value life that much more. Dylan has already taught us to live, to love God more, to go to Him in our times of comforting needs, and to see how beauty can be found from the loss of life. This beauty is the ability to learn, and the ability to keep ever onward in our spiritual walks. So, say thank you for his story touching yours. Take his legacy and learn to give thanks in every aspect of your life. Thank God for both the ups, AND the downs. Thank God that He draws near.*
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. James 1:2-6
"Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
Thank you Dylan,
Whitney
