"Alainn Anam"

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it". ~Confucius

 ^"…honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 19:19

As humans we are social beings. We learn and grow through our relationships with each other as well as everything around us. Life seriously wouldn't be the same if we didn't have each other to help us through.

"Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others."- The Dalai Lama

Today is nationally recognized Mother's Day; but not every Mother will be honored, nor will every son or daughter be doing the honoring. Many people no longer have a Mother; others may not even have a good relationship with their Mother.

I met a young teenager recently who was one of the latter. She was only 17 years old, and the only life she knew was this miserable relationship with her Mother. Neither really knew the other, and neither either didn't want to admit that, or didn't want to try to mend things. The daughter's solution was to move out and live on her own—which if you have ever done that at such a young age, well one can only imagine how difficult that must be. But moving out only strained things more—her Mother doesn't seem interested in trying to get her daughter back, and her daughter certainly has no intentions of doing so. As I listened to such a tale from this young woman, my heart kept squeezing with pain. I had no idea what to say to her so I kept quiet. I had never experienced what she was going through—I have been fortunate to have a Mom (and family and friends) who have always been there for me. The way she told her story was in an off-handish way, as though her situation with her Mother was nothing. And this girl isn't the first to express so. I've met many others who also acted like nothing was out of the ordinary in such situations. It seems as though it is a way to block off the pain and emotions because they feel it may be easier than actually feeling what they might inside. Not only do we often fear feeling pain, but we are also often afraid to lose control of ourselves in it…

Relationships for many are no longer intimate, trustworthy, respectful, loving. They are broken, abused, pain-filled, lost… It seems that many of us are no longer looking for fulfillment wherever and however possible; it seems instead that it's 'easier' to just wall off the hurt.

I believe I wouldn't have become the woman I am today without the constant love and support from my family and friends, and I am deeply thankful for them. If I had been the girl above, I probably would have acted much the same way she did. Even though I am fortunate to have love in my life, does not mean I get to ignore the fact that there is still pain in this world. For me, I depend strongly on genuine relationships; and when I lose a relationship with someone, I create the potential to be bitter and frustrated with the rest of the world. I invite the fear that someone else will walk out of my life and leave me standing alone. Which is interesting, because I admit that I am often responsible for relationships changed; but playing the 'blame game' isn't the point. We have to change our attitudes instead, looking at ourselves and those we interact with to determine what we may learn in order to better ourselves and our world. My hurts may be very different compared to the girl's above, so why should I complain at all? (I don't mean to sound selfish either). Well, it's not for justification. For after all, no one deserves to go through pain of any kind, and yet all of us are up against something, whatever it may be.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart". ~Kahlil Gibran

Despite what many of us in our bitter states may believe, beauty, can still exist.

What determines a 'beautiful person'? They are people who are loving, genuine, caring, and intimately sincere in who they are and in what they do. They are people who don't just ask how you are, but REALLY WANT to know how you are. They are people who won't settle for a simple answer from you; they are people who want to take the time to get to know the real you, even if, no, especially if, you are discovering that for yourself.

I am thankful for all the beautiful people in my life; the ones who have supported and encouraged me to be where I am today, the ones who have listened to me when I needed to talk to someone, the ones who visit me because they want to, the ones who really care about me and show their love and interest. These are people who don't want to just be a good friend, but actually show it.

There is one such beautiful person in my life who constantly shows her sincerity—and with everyone, not just with me. She is beautiful on the inside and out, and I see in her eyes a depth of love for those she meets that I can't even begin to accurately describe. I don't think she even knows just how beautiful she really is (or at least might ever admit to).

Every relationship should be reciprocated. Most people do things for others not seeking something in return; if you do it from your heart, you don't do it for want of anything. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't be loved in return. We all should love and deserve to be loved, no matter what our backgrounds may be. I hope you know that the most beautiful of us all is God and His love is incredible and never runs dry; and He wants to share that love with all of us…

Many times we forget to share our appreciation for those wonderful people in our lives. So to all of you shining lights out there, know that your hearts are truly appreciated. If you have such people in your life, be sure to tell them how much they mean to you. But they deserve so much more than perhaps we can show by saying a simple thank you. But, it is a step forward.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

My lovely friend mentioned already, brought me a lovely bouquet of flowers not too long ago, just because she had been thinking of me and felt I needed to be shown some love (she brings me flowers to reflect me—and she does this a lot too!). How beautiful is that?? Someone who took time out of her busy life to bring me some love—she saw that I needed something, and she took action. And more importantly, she WANTED to do so; she wasn't looking for anything in return. That, I believe is the difference between a friend and a GENUINE friend. We all can have friends—people we can do stuff with, talk to, etc. But there are typically only a few that we could all say that are truly a great friend—someone who takes things to the next level. Someone who sees needs in others and takes time to address them. Someone who cares about you, and really means it (like bringing you flowers just because). Someone who doesn't just say the words 'I love you', but makes those words come alive. Because anyone can speak; but taking words to the next level means a level of commitment and genuineness that often times few of us are willing to go to. For me personally, I find that while I mean well in a lot of the things I say (like the words in these Daily Breads), I still find myself not fully living the thoughts I pen…

Now, don't get me wrong. While we may see beautiful people as 'angels', or 'perfect beings', we all know even they have issues. But that's why relationships of any kind should be 50/50. It's nice to have someone see you as beautiful; but we should also take the time from our lives to see them in similar lights…"Love consists in desiring to give what is our own to another and feeling his delight as our own." ~Emmanuel Swedenborg

We can't say others should believe a certain way or think a certain way if we don't have it established in our own lives first. For example, I so often find activists that seem very passionate about what they are fighting for. But when intimately questioned about why they believe, you might find them floundering. Often times people seem to only believe things because it's easy, or that's all they have ever known (like many Christians), or have never thought to question otherwise or even realized that there may be other perspectives out there. It's easy to say what the group may feel about it as your own thoughts. But break it down, and I find more of us don't really know WHY we think or feel the way we do as individuals. We often do not take the time to figure out just what that might be to us. This doesn't make us bad or non-caring or even stupid. That doesn't really matter anyway. What should matter is being real, and that means sometimes having to ask the tough questions you all know I am so fond of.

So then, go ahead and ask yourself: do you consider yourself a genuine person? Why? When it comes to your relationships, how do you do? When it comes to your beliefs, who are you and why?

If it's not sincere in your own life, then trying to contribute sincerity to others is very difficult, if downright unfair to them.

So to conclude—it's Mother's Day. A national holiday where Hallmark probably makes a fortune in cards. But look at honoring our Moms outside of that scope. Forget the card for the moment. What is your relationship with her really like? Do you mean what you say when you say 'I love you Mom'?

If you don't have a Mom, or your relationship with her is strained like the young woman's I met is, ask yourself if you are willing to do something to change that. Showing love can often go a long way; it may take time, but it could very well be worth it when the relationship is no longer broken and filled with hurt… Besides, even if you couldn't affect the other, your life may just never be the same…

Dear readers, you ought to know by now how much I advocate for showing genuine love outside of the holiday spirits. Mother's day shouldn't just be for showing Moms appreciation. We ought to be working on our relationships with all those we encounter, every single moment of our lives. We are each important in our own ways; we lean on each other often for support and understanding, for love and trust, to learn and grow. Hey, sound familiar? Yep, God is good to lean on too. =) Even in those dark moments when we don't want to feel, and we believe no one else cares about who we are, there will always be one who does. But whoever loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:3 He knows you. He wants to explore just who you are with you. Having someone who not only knows you inside and out, but WANTS to love you and be with you, well, that's both cool and scary. It can be hard to trust others, and to allow ourselves to be that vulnerable with them. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10 But love; it is a beautiful thing to behold. My beloved spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me". Song of Solomon 2:10

If you take nothing else away from these daily breads, at least take this; God is not just some invisible being stuck up in the sky. He is someone whom we can have a relationship with too; and we can apply what we experience of strong relationships to ours with Him. His love is powerful; and the best part is, no matter what, His love for each one of us will never EVER leave, fail, stop, break down, or abuse us…

God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b

Life isn't perfect. Neither am I or even my own Mother whom I love dearly. But that's not the point--even in the midst of darkness we can find beauty; in the midst of our pain and suffering, we can look up, and see Him reaching out His hands to help us stand again.

How beautiful is that?*

But I trust in You, Lord; I say, "You are my God." Psalm 31:14

Once again find this daily bread dedicated to all the Moms out there. May you bless others and in turn be truly blessed.

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever. Psalm 52:8

Let us be Alainn Anam--

Let us be a Beautiful Soul.

Whitney

"Embracing the Beautiful"

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile". ~Albert Einstein. 

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:13

What does it mean to be a true friend?

Our history, culture, religion, actions, feelings, etc., play large roles in who we are as individuals. Without any of that, we may feel lost or lonely—with an identity, we can feel complete, secure, confident, etc. Identities help us to determine our thoughts, fears, choices, motivations, etc. But even well rounded identities that we create for ourselves don't have to define us; even if most of the time we allow them to.

Identities can help us in connecting with others of similar backgrounds--most of us enjoy the company of others--The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2: 18, 23-24--so it makes perfect sense that we long to connect with others. For one thing, it gives value to our lives. "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy ... it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that gives value to survival". ~C.S. Lewis

For a species that longs for one another, sometimes how we can treat each other is alarming. Our actions and emotions often run away with us. Sometimes these actions get so out of hand, that we allow them to tangle with those we love…How could we allow that to happen? How could it be fair to take out such anger on each other, whether we feel the other deserves it or not? It doesn't seem that anyone should deserve such kind of abuse, and yet we all have been on both ends….Bottomline it's mostly due to the fact that we humans are fallible--we will fall and we will fail at things. We aren't perfect. But of course we can always strive to be better....

I have questions that I ask myself from time to time when I question my motives in a particular instance—for example, are we longing for companionship for all that that word means, or do we long for others in order to eventually further our own selfish desires? If we are going to show the world that we are "good Christians", shouldn't we show it through everything that we do and are? 

If we are striving to truly love one another on this earth, should not we do the same in our relationship with God? After all He should be our ultimate best friend. I know He wants to be with us—so are we ready to embrace such an amazing identity? One in God…beautiful…true…Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 12:9-10

Now, don't get me wrong—we will have problems with each other. Sometimes we have reasons, sometimes we don't. Does it have to mean we love those around us any less? No—but sometimes we do hurt them more than we may realize, even if all intentions were pure. If you do have a moment with someone, where you allow your emotions to be taken out on them, and you realize what you have done, don't wait. Talk to the one you may have hurt (even if you don't think they were)—discuss what happened, and share each other's feelings. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Ephesians 4:25-27. Allow each other to learn and grow through such situations. 

But you know though, because we are all individuals with our own unique identities, we will all act and react differently. Something I say to a friend could be taken the wrong way, even if my intentions are pure. Sometimes it's really hard to strive to be a better individual and friend—for our pasts, presents, and futures are all and will be different somehow, and so we will all be affected differently.

How we express ourselves is unique as well. Being a true friend for example doesn't mean you have a guide book to refer to for every need your friend may have. Everyone is different. Some may choose to study their friend to see what they may need; still others may be there to cheer their friend, while still others could call their friend or write letters of support or good wishes. There are millions of ways to show you care, and still more millions of different/appropriate situations. None should be considered less than someone else's way. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on." Mark 12:42-44

So, how could anyone ever live up to the title of a 'true friend'? It seems almost depressing to think about how much we sometimes are not. Even if you don't mean anything by what you say or do towards someone, does it still make it right that it happened? Does any reason at all justify such hard actions toward others? Regardless, I think it is really important to talk about these things with one another as soon as possible. Don't let things sit or simmer. Don't carry grudges. Just show love whenever you can.

Examine your hearts today—see if you can understand who you are, especially in your relationships with others, and subsequently, they as well. Embrace the beauty of true friendship. Embrace true love. Embrace HIS love.*  

But the man who loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:3

Embracing the beautiful,

Whitney

"True Friends"

"True friends are willing to intrude".

This is what artist TobyMac puts forth in one of his songs. I like this because although being a true friend can be difficult at times, our friends often need us. That one time in their life where everything is going haywire, they need to be able to turn around and know you are there for them. And when you show them your love, they see the light of Jesus and His testimony shining brightly through you. We can affect so many by just being true friends.

Sometimes true friendships are put to the ultimate test.

The Bible also says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". (John 15:13) This is the ultimate true friendship. Sticking up for a friend, staying by their side when no one else will, listening to them, loving them when all others abandon them. Sacrificing themselves to save their friend. And confronting them in love when they are caught up in sin.

Has your friend ever done something you knew was wrong? What did you do? Confront them? Or did you try to smile, and ignore the situation, hoping that it would go away? After all, if you ratted them out you would probably lose their friendship, right?

"True friends are willing to intrude".

We need to confront our brothers and sisters in love when they are doing something they shouldn't. Not condemn them, not judge them. But show them in a loving way what they need to do to be brought forth from the problem. How they can be set free. Letting a problem continue to exist in someone's life is like allowing the balloon to keep filling with air. Pretty soon it will pop, and then the situation may be blown way out of proportion. Someone could be hurt. Maybe even your friend. Then you probably would feel guilty you never said anything when you should have.

Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. Matthew 18:15

Our parents confront us when we have done something wrong. They don't do it to condemn us. No, they do it because they love us and they want us to do good, be wise, and not fall into the sins of the world.

Sometimes the truth hurts. But wouldn't you rather know that your friend would be okay? Often times even your friend, after being confronted will confess and be glad you were the one to have confronted him or her rather than someone else.

Look at it this way. 'We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God'. (Romans 3:23) We have all experienced tremendous burdens of some size. Some of us had true friends, people to be there when we needed them most. They were there right beside you to help carry the weight, and the weight of that tremendous burden suddenly lifted from your shoulders. If we need it, then so do others.

Jesus is one of the greatest examples of this. He says in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." In other words, we may not always have physical true friends in our lives, but we do always have Jesus. He is our Hope, the everlasting Being who is ALWAYS there, no matter what. And we can come to Him whenever we need to. He died for our sins, deciding to take the shackles of sin from our arms and burden Himself with the burdens of our lives and of the world.

"The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23

Jesus paid that ultimate price so that we might live. He is the ultimate true friend. He could have left us to the doom of sin. But He loved us so much, He was willing to sacrifice Himself. And when we sin, and we feel convicted, look at it as it is not just your conscience. Maybe that's how God let's you know what you are doing is wrong.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

None of us are better than any other. Being Christians doesn't make us higher or perfect. We can stumble into sin just like anyone else. But that's when God, and each other need to step forward to help show the way out. We need to do this not for just Believers, but for everyone too.

9Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

12Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned. Romans 5:12

"The most important one [commandment]," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Matthew 12:29-31

Jesus said, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you".* John 15:12

Whitney