"Alainn Anam"

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it". ~Confucius

 ^"…honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 19:19

As humans we are social beings. We learn and grow through our relationships with each other as well as everything around us. Life seriously wouldn't be the same if we didn't have each other to help us through.

"Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others."- The Dalai Lama

Today is nationally recognized Mother's Day; but not every Mother will be honored, nor will every son or daughter be doing the honoring. Many people no longer have a Mother; others may not even have a good relationship with their Mother.

I met a young teenager recently who was one of the latter. She was only 17 years old, and the only life she knew was this miserable relationship with her Mother. Neither really knew the other, and neither either didn't want to admit that, or didn't want to try to mend things. The daughter's solution was to move out and live on her own—which if you have ever done that at such a young age, well one can only imagine how difficult that must be. But moving out only strained things more—her Mother doesn't seem interested in trying to get her daughter back, and her daughter certainly has no intentions of doing so. As I listened to such a tale from this young woman, my heart kept squeezing with pain. I had no idea what to say to her so I kept quiet. I had never experienced what she was going through—I have been fortunate to have a Mom (and family and friends) who have always been there for me. The way she told her story was in an off-handish way, as though her situation with her Mother was nothing. And this girl isn't the first to express so. I've met many others who also acted like nothing was out of the ordinary in such situations. It seems as though it is a way to block off the pain and emotions because they feel it may be easier than actually feeling what they might inside. Not only do we often fear feeling pain, but we are also often afraid to lose control of ourselves in it…

Relationships for many are no longer intimate, trustworthy, respectful, loving. They are broken, abused, pain-filled, lost… It seems that many of us are no longer looking for fulfillment wherever and however possible; it seems instead that it's 'easier' to just wall off the hurt.

I believe I wouldn't have become the woman I am today without the constant love and support from my family and friends, and I am deeply thankful for them. If I had been the girl above, I probably would have acted much the same way she did. Even though I am fortunate to have love in my life, does not mean I get to ignore the fact that there is still pain in this world. For me, I depend strongly on genuine relationships; and when I lose a relationship with someone, I create the potential to be bitter and frustrated with the rest of the world. I invite the fear that someone else will walk out of my life and leave me standing alone. Which is interesting, because I admit that I am often responsible for relationships changed; but playing the 'blame game' isn't the point. We have to change our attitudes instead, looking at ourselves and those we interact with to determine what we may learn in order to better ourselves and our world. My hurts may be very different compared to the girl's above, so why should I complain at all? (I don't mean to sound selfish either). Well, it's not for justification. For after all, no one deserves to go through pain of any kind, and yet all of us are up against something, whatever it may be.

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart". ~Kahlil Gibran

Despite what many of us in our bitter states may believe, beauty, can still exist.

What determines a 'beautiful person'? They are people who are loving, genuine, caring, and intimately sincere in who they are and in what they do. They are people who don't just ask how you are, but REALLY WANT to know how you are. They are people who won't settle for a simple answer from you; they are people who want to take the time to get to know the real you, even if, no, especially if, you are discovering that for yourself.

I am thankful for all the beautiful people in my life; the ones who have supported and encouraged me to be where I am today, the ones who have listened to me when I needed to talk to someone, the ones who visit me because they want to, the ones who really care about me and show their love and interest. These are people who don't want to just be a good friend, but actually show it.

There is one such beautiful person in my life who constantly shows her sincerity—and with everyone, not just with me. She is beautiful on the inside and out, and I see in her eyes a depth of love for those she meets that I can't even begin to accurately describe. I don't think she even knows just how beautiful she really is (or at least might ever admit to).

Every relationship should be reciprocated. Most people do things for others not seeking something in return; if you do it from your heart, you don't do it for want of anything. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't be loved in return. We all should love and deserve to be loved, no matter what our backgrounds may be. I hope you know that the most beautiful of us all is God and His love is incredible and never runs dry; and He wants to share that love with all of us…

Many times we forget to share our appreciation for those wonderful people in our lives. So to all of you shining lights out there, know that your hearts are truly appreciated. If you have such people in your life, be sure to tell them how much they mean to you. But they deserve so much more than perhaps we can show by saying a simple thank you. But, it is a step forward.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

My lovely friend mentioned already, brought me a lovely bouquet of flowers not too long ago, just because she had been thinking of me and felt I needed to be shown some love (she brings me flowers to reflect me—and she does this a lot too!). How beautiful is that?? Someone who took time out of her busy life to bring me some love—she saw that I needed something, and she took action. And more importantly, she WANTED to do so; she wasn't looking for anything in return. That, I believe is the difference between a friend and a GENUINE friend. We all can have friends—people we can do stuff with, talk to, etc. But there are typically only a few that we could all say that are truly a great friend—someone who takes things to the next level. Someone who sees needs in others and takes time to address them. Someone who cares about you, and really means it (like bringing you flowers just because). Someone who doesn't just say the words 'I love you', but makes those words come alive. Because anyone can speak; but taking words to the next level means a level of commitment and genuineness that often times few of us are willing to go to. For me personally, I find that while I mean well in a lot of the things I say (like the words in these Daily Breads), I still find myself not fully living the thoughts I pen…

Now, don't get me wrong. While we may see beautiful people as 'angels', or 'perfect beings', we all know even they have issues. But that's why relationships of any kind should be 50/50. It's nice to have someone see you as beautiful; but we should also take the time from our lives to see them in similar lights…"Love consists in desiring to give what is our own to another and feeling his delight as our own." ~Emmanuel Swedenborg

We can't say others should believe a certain way or think a certain way if we don't have it established in our own lives first. For example, I so often find activists that seem very passionate about what they are fighting for. But when intimately questioned about why they believe, you might find them floundering. Often times people seem to only believe things because it's easy, or that's all they have ever known (like many Christians), or have never thought to question otherwise or even realized that there may be other perspectives out there. It's easy to say what the group may feel about it as your own thoughts. But break it down, and I find more of us don't really know WHY we think or feel the way we do as individuals. We often do not take the time to figure out just what that might be to us. This doesn't make us bad or non-caring or even stupid. That doesn't really matter anyway. What should matter is being real, and that means sometimes having to ask the tough questions you all know I am so fond of.

So then, go ahead and ask yourself: do you consider yourself a genuine person? Why? When it comes to your relationships, how do you do? When it comes to your beliefs, who are you and why?

If it's not sincere in your own life, then trying to contribute sincerity to others is very difficult, if downright unfair to them.

So to conclude—it's Mother's Day. A national holiday where Hallmark probably makes a fortune in cards. But look at honoring our Moms outside of that scope. Forget the card for the moment. What is your relationship with her really like? Do you mean what you say when you say 'I love you Mom'?

If you don't have a Mom, or your relationship with her is strained like the young woman's I met is, ask yourself if you are willing to do something to change that. Showing love can often go a long way; it may take time, but it could very well be worth it when the relationship is no longer broken and filled with hurt… Besides, even if you couldn't affect the other, your life may just never be the same…

Dear readers, you ought to know by now how much I advocate for showing genuine love outside of the holiday spirits. Mother's day shouldn't just be for showing Moms appreciation. We ought to be working on our relationships with all those we encounter, every single moment of our lives. We are each important in our own ways; we lean on each other often for support and understanding, for love and trust, to learn and grow. Hey, sound familiar? Yep, God is good to lean on too. =) Even in those dark moments when we don't want to feel, and we believe no one else cares about who we are, there will always be one who does. But whoever loves God is known by God. 1 Corinthians 8:3 He knows you. He wants to explore just who you are with you. Having someone who not only knows you inside and out, but WANTS to love you and be with you, well, that's both cool and scary. It can be hard to trust others, and to allow ourselves to be that vulnerable with them. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:10 But love; it is a beautiful thing to behold. My beloved spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me". Song of Solomon 2:10

If you take nothing else away from these daily breads, at least take this; God is not just some invisible being stuck up in the sky. He is someone whom we can have a relationship with too; and we can apply what we experience of strong relationships to ours with Him. His love is powerful; and the best part is, no matter what, His love for each one of us will never EVER leave, fail, stop, break down, or abuse us…

God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5b

Life isn't perfect. Neither am I or even my own Mother whom I love dearly. But that's not the point--even in the midst of darkness we can find beauty; in the midst of our pain and suffering, we can look up, and see Him reaching out His hands to help us stand again.

How beautiful is that?*

But I trust in You, Lord; I say, "You are my God." Psalm 31:14

Once again find this daily bread dedicated to all the Moms out there. May you bless others and in turn be truly blessed.

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever. Psalm 52:8

Let us be Alainn Anam--

Let us be a Beautiful Soul.

Whitney

"May We Live"

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." ~Nelson Mandela

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

It's difficult for us to face problems. We don't like to admit we have them, and we have an even harder time of making a decision regarding them. Easier for us to run away, ignore them, hope someone else will deal with them for us, or point the finger at something other than ourselves in order to justify our actions (or lack thereof). The problem isn't that we will have problems (because face it, we will!); it's how we deal with them. When we spend more time focusing directly on the problem/decision itself, we run the risk of falling into an abyss of self-pity and despair (to which we will occasionally fall). And this we know is not a healthy attitude, nor will it get us anywhere. All this advice we already know; it's almost always easier said than done, and we all know how much we love what is easier.

Encountering problems and/or making decisions often catches us comparing our lives to others--we look at how we could've done so many things if we only had the chance (or the chance again). We see others around us and wish we could be them; we are hard to please and harder to satisfy. In the last daily bread we discussed how people and various lifestyles can look so appealing to us. It seems that we want to be happy, but as soon as we achieve whatever it is we believe will make us happy, then we are not happy, all over again. "We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." ~Frederick Keonig

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." ~Nelson Mandela This does NOT mean the life you might be living is not a notable life. It does not mean that someone else's life might be BETTER or more IMPORTANT than your own. Because stop right there. Our lives, our individual lives are individual for a reason. No one else can possibly fully understand us (except God) because no one else is YOU. You can tell me your problem for example, and while I may have had a similar experience, I can only empathize so far with you--even if I feel the same emotions as you, your EXPERIENCE is unique to you and to you alone.
 

Only YOU can ask yourself the question: what are YOU capable of? Don't be surprised if you can't answer it though. We can go our whole lives and still not be able to answer such a question. People can change throughout their life, and to say you know or want to know yourself so fully in every way would in reality take many lifetimes to study--not to mention the dedication it would also require. "Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also." ~Carl Jung I for one couldn't tell you who I am, because this is something I will be studying on for the rest of my life.

   

No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all their efforts to search it out, no one can discover its meaning. Even if the wise claim they know, they cannot really comprehend it. Ecclesiastes 8:17 So why should we bother asking at all? Well, we will discuss more on that later, but think of it this way; we can still learn and grow...

 

 

This leads us to the topic at hand; I have heard many ask the infamous question, "what is God's plan for my life"? If you are one of those that struggles with the problems that often collaborate with such a question, keep reading. You might be someone who look at other people who have said that God called them to such and such, and wonder why God hasn't called you to a similar more noteworthy life. "Child," said the Voice, "I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own." ~Aslan, The Horse and His Boy Therefore, you are the author of your own story, and no one's is better than another. Keep in mind this thought; someone who seems to have accomplished much in the public eye may have accomplished little mentally or spiritually. So don't fall so quickly for the belief that a seemingly "noble and fantastical" life is not what you already have. Everyone's view of these things are different. But, on the other hand, if you don't like your life, then work on changing it yourself. God will present to us opportunities; we can choose to take them or not, but ultimately focusing on whether God orchestrates everything for us and we have no say at all seems rather childish. I believe that God's "plan" for all our lives deals with the mental/spiritual sides of life--what makes us a better person for example. Or does what I do strengthen my relationship with God? With others?"As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself... Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility." ~Nelson Mandela

So then, just WHO is this sort of God? I'm afraid I have no clear answer for this one. I can however, look around at the world, and see all that He has created, and I feel Him a part of it all. I can say that's who God is. I can say He is a part of the woman who gives a homeless man a hot meal. I can say He is a part of the family who loves and hurts together. I can say he is a part of the wind that whispers through the trees, the sun that helps the plants grow, a baby's laugh, or even in a young friend killed in a car crash. He is a part of everything, even that which we may view as sad or unfair or something we do not understand. I don't see how anyone can really explain Him outside of that; but just as we can see and understand to an extent the results of the work of an experiment, so also can we at least see what He has in this world--what makes up you and me. A reflection of Him if you will.

We are made in His image; Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:26-27

This means we are NOT God, but rather a REFLECTION of Him. This means that our reflection should be a beautiful representation of who God is; ultimately this paints the picture of WHO WE ARE. (We've discussed this topic in past daily breads). God is so many things, and so much more that we will never comprehend, so our reflection of Him is rather complicated. I am sure that God is greatly interested in all that we do in our lives; but when we make decisions and stress whether God will be pleased or not with them, I believe we then begin to lose sight of the essence of God and what He's ultimately all about (love...). We are all different, so I believe we all then will show different reflections of God. The bottom line here I think, is that it is more about HOW we reflect God than the actual essence of what we do; what is your attitude like for example. I believe we should be humbly glorifying Him in all that we are. If we are His reflection, we should honor it and strive to be holy...

Jesus replied, "If I glorify myself, my glory means nothing. My Father, whom you claim as your God, is the one who glorifies me. John 8:54

"People should not worry as much about what they do but rather about what they are. If they and their ways are good, then their deeds are radiant. If you are righteous, then what you do will also be righteous. We should not think that holiness is based on what we do but rather on what we are, for it is not our works which sanctify us but we who sanctify our works." ~Meister Eckhart

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:1-5

Why should we honor God? We honor Him because He is a part of us and gave us life; the least we could do is show our humble and appreciative respect. And as far as what He longs for our lives, well, I think that's just it. He longs for us to love Him, and to glorify Him in whatever we may do. Sometimes we may look at other peoples' lives and wonder why we didn't have a life like theirs; we might wonder why we seem so, well, incomplete. Is this showing God love, or selfish ambition? Is it fair for us to blame God for what our lives may be like? We will say we search for happiness, but I wonder if and when we might find it, will that truly make us happy? And will we be satisfied even then?"If our condition were truly happy, we would not seek diversion from it in order to make ourselves happy". ~Blaise Pascal

Seek the Lord, all you humble of the land, you who do what He commands. Seek righteousness, seek humility. Zephaniah 2:3a

God can and will use us in whatever we do in this life. So if you make a decision you aren't sure is the "right" one in line with God's "plans", take a moment to breathe. It's extremely hard to say if any one thing is "right"; most decisions are based off of what might seem like the "better" or more "beneficial" way to go. If your decision turns out not as well as you thought, reevaluate it. Don't settle yourself in your fabricated despair. Rather instead create new opportunities. Learn from mistakes. Learn for future ideas. Make new mistakes. Life will never be cut and dried simple. But we can still work with it. It's just going to take effort on our parts. "To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also." ~Igor Stravinsky We need to be willing to try my friends.

Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything..Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him. James 1:4, 12

I think He is very interested in what we do, but isn't the kind of being idly spinning our lives on some perfect string as though we were a puppet. Life is too unpredictable; even though He may have a hand in our lives, what we make of it is ultimately up to us. I believe He has given us the freedom to decide; He is here to give us His strength, love, and guidance--the question is, are we willing to let Him in to help us? The Lord will guide you always;  He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11

"You never know how much you really believe anything until its truth or falsehood becomes a matter of life and death to you. It is easy for you to believe a rope to be strong and sound as long as you are merely using it to cord a box. But suppose that you had to hang by that rope over a precipice. Wouldn't you then first discover how much you really trusted it? Only a real risk tests the reality of a belief". ~C.S. Lewis

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6: 25-34

So, don't spend so much time worrying over the problems and decisions you will face in this life. Instead, let God in to help guide you and lend you strength. He does love us after all. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand". Isaiah 41:10

Whose life are you really choosing to live? Strive to make yours holy to God's rather than mans'.*

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." ~Oscar Wilde

Seeking to live,

Whitney