"Reflections of the Heart: Learning Value and Finding Beauty in the Darkest of Places"


We live in a world that encourages going straight from point A to point B, with as little time wasted in between as possible. Time has become something we can't seem to live without, yet at the same time something we wish we could.

We often get so caught up in ourselves that we assume more than we realize. For myself, I value relationships enormously; anyone who knows me knows that I try to be as genuine as I can be with people. However, I often muddle up my relationships no matter how true I try to be. I assume things about others when they are not true. I assume others think and feel the same way I do, which is rarely the case. How many people do you know that are exactly like you?

When I assume things about others though, I have a problem; I don't seem to be really thinking about those around me even though I'd like to think so. I'm actually more worried about what they will think of me. After all, I am thinking they are feeling what I would feel if I were them—still with me? :P. But they are not me, and yet no matter how many times I tell myself that, I don't seem to change…

Once in awhile though I meet people who are truly sincere, and choose to place a genuine interest in my life. I was out the other night with my amazing older brother and a lovely friend of ours, and I must say we all had a wonderful conversation about life and the like. It was so nice to be around people who not only care about you, but understand you and are willing to accept who you are or who you are becoming. It is people like them, and moments like those that cause me to self-reflect upon my life. Its times like those that make me feel genuinely happy, and truly thankful I am loved. It's people like them that reflect of God's love for me.

It's generally difficult for us humans to give up ourselves. It's hard to surrender our fears, to talk about our feelings and emotions, our thoughts and opinions with others. After all, someone might disapprove of us right? And who wants to face human rejection? I know I certainly don't. I am probably one of the worst when it comes to lacking self confidence.

It's simpler of course to stay on the surface of our lives. Simpler to take the easier roads and hope that life is handed to us on silver platters. But what benefits do we receive from paths like these? Not much. It is healthy and important for us to grow, which means many times it is actually better for us to feel the difficulties of life. If everything was easy (which would be boring), then no one would progress or learn anything. Look at Jesus' life. He taught us so many things; but He wasn't just all talk. He lived it.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. Matthew 7:13-14

It's easy to say all these things, but much harder to actually carry them out (believe me). You all know the saying, "it's easier said than done". But Jesus himself never said life would be easy. "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

I am an amateur photographer, and I recently was given the opportunity of a dream job—a student photography internship. I thought that that would be perfect for me; I thought that was something I not only wanted, but needed in my growth in the field of photography. But many times what I want may not be what I need.

I didn't get the job, even though I tried my best. At first I was disappointed and angry. 'What did I do wrong?' I wondered. 'Why wasn't I good enough for them? How could they choose someone over an obviously talented me?' But after awhile I thought about it, and realized something phenomenal. I was being rather self-centered.

I believe God gives us opportunities in life. I would have sworn to you before I knew of the job that it was an amazing, silver-platter opportunity given me by God. But later on I realized that perhaps instead of God giving me an opportunity at a job, He might have been giving me the opportunity at something else I needed more. The job was something I wanted, but perhaps not the thing I most needed.

God knows our hearts. He knows what we need, and gives us many opportunities to ensure that. There will be times you don't understand the opportunities God gives you. But in everything take the time to learn; for me, I realized that God might have wanted me to see that life isn't always going to be easy, but to take heart and grow from such experiences regardless. I've had a wonderful life; blessed beyond measure. So I think I needed to hear from Him that it won't always be this way, but that I should learn to trust Him, and to know that He will lead me through. Yet You, Lord, are Our Father. We are the clay, You are the potter; we are all the work of Your hand. Isaiah 64:8

"I am God, the God of your father," He said. "Do not be afraid to go down to Egypt, for I will make you into a great nation there. I will go down to Egypt with you, and I will surely bring you back again." Genesis 46:3-4

"Since that time an endless succession of my people have come this way. They came to learn the secret of royalty, and now you are here, Much-Afraid. You, too, are in the line of succession. It is a great privilege, and if you will, you also may learn the lesson of the furnace and of the great darkness just as surely as did those before you. Those who come down to the furnace go on their way afterwards as royal men and women, princes and princesses of the Royal Line." The Great Shepherd, Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard.

He wanted me to learn humility, and to be appreciative. In such a moment I humbled myself to the fact that the person, who did get the job, might have needed it more than I. I humbled myself in thinking that it wasn't that I was wrong or not as good, but that it might not have been right for me. I needed something different. Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. James 1:9a

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8

This moment also taught me value. When we get in our selfish modes we tend to devalue things, or rather take things for granted. I was doing this, expecting to get the job because I thought it was perfect for me. Blessed people are always blessed right?

I took the situation for granted. I thought I would easily get it. But my high expectations were let down.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

So I didn't get the job, but I learned several valuable lessons. 1) I realized I needed to move on with my life and simply try for another job of some other type. Even things that don't seem to make sense at all can be great opportunities to learn and to grow. And I hope to meet many of those (which I have and will); challenges are good for someone like me. Challenges are good for all of us.

2) There is ALWAYS hope. Keep your chins up and fight the good fight. Try and even if you do not succeed, take heart; for God sees you and recognizes everything that you do, even if no one else does. As Hilary Swank's character Erin Gruwell said in the "Freedom Writers" movie: "I SEE you Marcus; and you are not failing." Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

This life will be hard. But in those moments where everything seems to be falling apart or no one seems to care about you, remember you are not alone. God is always near. Just call on His name, and suddenly your world seems just a little bit brighter.

Why do we discuss topics such as these in these daily breads? They seem like 'no-brainers' right? They should be, but it seems, at least with me, that we need reminders of them from time to time. Its daily breads like these that hopefully remind us of who we are in the eyes of God. He sees us as valuable. He sees us as people of much worth.

Listen and hear my voice; pay attention and hear what I say. When a farmer plows for planting, does he plow continually? Does he keep on breaking up and working the soil? When he has leveled the surface, does he not sow caraway and scatter cumin? Does he not plant wheat in its place, barley in its plot, and spelt in its field? His God instructs him and teaches him the right way. Caraway is not threshed with a sledge, nor is the wheel of a cart rolled over cumin; caraway is beaten out with a rod, and cumin with a stick. Grain must be ground to make bread; so one does not go on threshing it forever. The wheels of a threshing cart may be rolled over it, but one does not use horses to grind grain. All this also comes from the Lord Almighty, whose plan is wonderful, whose wisdom is magnificent. Isaiah 28:23-29

So to all my friends, family, and readers out there who have stood by me and lifted me up, I would like to say thank you. I hope that you would know that I have not nor ever will forget you. You are in my thoughts always as I go through this life.

We have to try not to get so caught up in ourselves that we lose sight of everything else. God's still around. He cares about you, so why not give Him a try if you haven't already? Look at Him smile today in the shining of the sun. Feel Him in the sweeping of the wind, His emotions in the brilliance of the sky. He is in everything; in you. He's the least selfish of us all; after all, this is all for you and I, not all about you and I. Open your hearts and reflect all you have learned. See the beauty, feel the value of who you are.*

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3-4

But for you who revere My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. Malachi 4:2a

Basking in the sunlight,

Whitney